Thus I give to you Dania Audax's Fabulous Anti-Troll Response, Guaranteed to Break the Chains of Psuedo-Voo-Doo.
"By the Power Invested In Me By Internet Phenomena and Spiritual Advisor Dania Audax: I (your name here), Deacon of Awesomeness and Deputy Extraordinaire of Get This Crap Off My Page Do Hereby ABSOLVE AND NULLIFY WHATEVER YOU SENT ME by (1) the Power of Common Sense, (2) the Power of Good Manners and Interweb Etiquette, and (3) the Power of Using Your Talents and Time Wisely!
By these Powers Combined...THIS IS Dania Audax's Fabulous Anti-Troll Response, Guaranteed to Break the Chains of Psuedo-Voo-Do!!1!one!!!
I curse neither you nor your family. No ghosts, poltergeists, weeaboos, or other ectoplasmic-based beings will haunt you on a Monday night. Nobody will die. There will be no blood or other bodily excretions dripping from anyone or anywhere.
You are instead welcome to use your talents in other community-building exercises. You are welcome to improve yourself and create a good internet reputation for yourself by not spamming people with silly stories, poor grammar, and atrocious punctuation.
May the Angels smile on you and may your toast always land butter-side up."